February 17th, 2017
My son Cade asked me the other last night what was the saddest day of my life? He wants to be just like me and I really don’t want him to enter the 
military unless he is an Officer. I believe he’d be much safer and his chances for a great job would be much better when his service commitment was 
over. I tell him he’ll be a leader and try teach him not to get down on himself, but he’s somewhat of a perfectionist. I’m painfully aware I have beat myself up over the years and been so terribly difficult on myself where I never had that much confidence. I tell him that he just can’t have that part of me, It’s JUST NO GOOD! I hate seeing him doing so well at EVERYTHING he does and not thinking he is good enough. He’s not allowed to have that part of me, it’s just not allowed!
military unless he is an Officer. I believe he’d be much safer and his chances for a great job would be much better when his service commitment was over. I tell him he’ll be a leader and try teach him not to get down on himself, but he’s somewhat of a perfectionist. I’m painfully aware I have beat myself up over the years and been so terribly difficult on myself where I never had that much confidence. I tell him that he just can’t have that part of me, It’s JUST NO GOOD! I hate seeing him doing so well at EVERYTHING he does and not thinking he is good enough. He’s not allowed to have that part of me, it’s just not allowed! I thought about how depressed I had become when I lost my Air Traffic Controlling job because it took me away from something I enjoyed and was really good at. The Parkinson’s medications I am on no longer allow me to medically pass the required Flight physical needed to preform the job function. I just loved controlling aircraft and begun to tell my twin boys Air Traffic Control stories about the fighters returning to base during bad weather and how I would to talk possibly a scared pilots in their aircraft safely to the ground. “Navy November Delta Four three two (VVND432) Alameda Final Controller, how do you hear me? (“My pilot voice, “Loud and clear”) Turn left heading 312° your sightly right of course correcting, approaching glide-path wheels should be down. 5 miles from touchdown slightly right of course now, turn left heading 310° slightly above glide-path and coming down. Continue heading 31
0° on course and on glide-path four miles from touchdown.” I continued in my controller voice as the twins listened intensely until I finally said, “Over Missed Approach point, if runway not in site executed Missed approach instructions.” And went on to explain if I had done my job correctly a possibly a scared pilot running low on gas in bad weather was able to put the fighter on the ground because I had talked him down all the way to the ground during a time he was unable to see the airport or runway. I relished in the fact that they looked at me with such pride and Cade said I want to be a Controller. I immediately said “No! You’ll fly the F14 bud.” Did you want to fly the F14, Dad?” Of course I did but I didn’t think I was smart enough and I hadn’t been an Officer. “When I fly the F14 Dad I’ll give you a ride,” my heart melted and we made plans to watch Top Gun tomorrow night. This morning he woke me up with a sign simply reading,
0° on course and on glide-path four miles from touchdown.” I continued in my controller voice as the twins listened intensely until I finally said, “Over Missed Approach point, if runway not in site executed Missed approach instructions.” And went on to explain if I had done my job correctly a possibly a scared pilot running low on gas in bad weather was able to put the fighter on the ground because I had talked him down all the way to the ground during a time he was unable to see the airport or runway. I relished in the fact that they looked at me with such pride and Cade said I want to be a Controller. I immediately said “No! You’ll fly the F14 bud.” Did you want to fly the F14, Dad?” Of course I did but I didn’t think I was smart enough and I hadn’t been an Officer. “When I fly the F14 Dad I’ll give you a ride,” my heart melted and we made plans to watch Top Gun tomorrow night. This morning he woke me up with a sign simply reading, Top Gun from Cade XOXO.