June 16, 2016 Last night I spent the night closer to the airport at a high school friends home near Denver. A country ranch with horses. I spent this morning starring into a horse called Smudge eyes. Oh the beauty, such a magnificent creature. So powerful and gentle. I told Smudge those things and …
June 11th, 2016 Besides my wedding day and the birth of my children, I’ve definitely been both the happiest and saddest as as I’ve ever been in this last year of my life. I’ve never felt so much love and emotion as my denial of this horrible disease becomes my blessing and reality at the …
May 28, 2016 Where’s the guy in the picture? Is he still here? I hate what I’ve become, what did l do to deserve this? I’m a good person! I have always put others first, I just don’t understand. Could I have possibly have done this to myself by worrying myself sick, or by …
Today was a very special day for me. My twin boys had career day at Kindergarten. The idea was for them to dress up as what they wanted to be when they grow up then have all the parents parade from station to station and interview them. We asked the children questions about what they …
May 22nd, 2016 I am obsessed to feel normal again, does that mean I’m still in denial or I am fighting back trying to figure this disease out; I cry I hurt, I’m supposed to be a man. Last night while still feeling unbelievably terrible (I get nauseous and get eextremely cold all contributing to …